Conversations With The Women in my Head
OK…so I get a call from Lorrie wanting me to submit a blog for the
Crosspoint Women’s page thingy.
Crosspoint Women’s page thingy.
First... let us put to rest the assumed computer prowess of the author,
that would be me, I suck.
I hate computers and they... I think ...rightfully hate me back.
I think it may be even more sinister on the computers part however…
inevitability..... when a stroke of pure genius hits
I run for the little black rectangle sitting on the kitchen counter... knowing that when my fingers brush the keys brilliance and enlightenment will flow freely from my pink and white manicured flanges.
There will be a symphony as it were between my flying fingers and the rapidly snapping synapses creating absolute magic in my cranium….my heart beats faster...I can feel my pulse quicken in my neck as I assume that these amazing bits of information are being recorded for all of history….
that would be me, I suck.
I hate computers and they... I think ...rightfully hate me back.
I think it may be even more sinister on the computers part however…
inevitability..... when a stroke of pure genius hits
I run for the little black rectangle sitting on the kitchen counter... knowing that when my fingers brush the keys brilliance and enlightenment will flow freely from my pink and white manicured flanges.
There will be a symphony as it were between my flying fingers and the rapidly snapping synapses creating absolute magic in my cranium….my heart beats faster...I can feel my pulse quicken in my neck as I assume that these amazing bits of information are being recorded for all of history….
The bowls are in the cupboard over the black dishwasher, no, over the black dishwasher, OK now pick up what ever fell out of the cabinet…what? No you can’t mix all the cereals together you’ll waste it…you’ll…get sick…
...I continue the flow that I have begun
enjoying the rhythm of the sound being made on the little black machine…
but alas,
I am woefully unaware that there seems to be a problem.
I am from the old school of typing.....you know the one where you look at your fingers the whole time.
I know instinctively that if I make one small mistake the spell check police will raise their ugly head to mock and run their evil red lines through my …
Put your bowls in the sink when you are done. Can you put the boxes of cereal back on the shelf …don’t give me attitude Emma, do it without the heavy sigh…
...carefully and thought out word selection…I hate those red lines…I’m still confused about the green ones..
but I digress…
The rhythm continues with impressive speed and agility of brain and hand.
I think this may actually be my Mona Lisa!
Information that will be lauded by family and friends alike…published in the most esteemed of printed materials….breathlessly I glance up to....
OK!!! Who is killing who? There better be bloodshed down there with the amount of noise going on!
...view what I assume will be a thing of beauty a timeless masterpiece…
What I am faced with is the futility of my efforts ....
the sinister black box has sucked up the knowledge from deep within me..
it has sent my labor of love out to the abyss where I
as a mother
assume all matching socks are and replaced it with an ad for Match.com...
He is kinda cute
that is ...if you’re into that hunky perfect sort of thing…
again I digress
I steel my will against this evil assault on all that is good in this world
I will not be destroyed emotionally or spiritually by this…
I will master the little black rectangle on my kitchen counter....
Ha! I laugh in its illuminated face!
In it’s general direction I…
Yes…you can go out and play with the dogs just be careful not to step into….
never mind…
I will try..... and try again
blogs will be mine
…oh yes…
someday they will be mine
enjoying the rhythm of the sound being made on the little black machine…
but alas,
I am woefully unaware that there seems to be a problem.
I am from the old school of typing.....you know the one where you look at your fingers the whole time.
I know instinctively that if I make one small mistake the spell check police will raise their ugly head to mock and run their evil red lines through my …
Put your bowls in the sink when you are done. Can you put the boxes of cereal back on the shelf …don’t give me attitude Emma, do it without the heavy sigh…
...carefully and thought out word selection…I hate those red lines…I’m still confused about the green ones..
but I digress…
The rhythm continues with impressive speed and agility of brain and hand.
I think this may actually be my Mona Lisa!
Information that will be lauded by family and friends alike…published in the most esteemed of printed materials….breathlessly I glance up to....
OK!!! Who is killing who? There better be bloodshed down there with the amount of noise going on!
...view what I assume will be a thing of beauty a timeless masterpiece…
What I am faced with is the futility of my efforts ....
the sinister black box has sucked up the knowledge from deep within me..
it has sent my labor of love out to the abyss where I
as a mother
assume all matching socks are and replaced it with an ad for Match.com...
He is kinda cute
that is ...if you’re into that hunky perfect sort of thing…
again I digress
I steel my will against this evil assault on all that is good in this world
I will not be destroyed emotionally or spiritually by this…
I will master the little black rectangle on my kitchen counter....
Ha! I laugh in its illuminated face!
In it’s general direction I…
Yes…you can go out and play with the dogs just be careful not to step into….
never mind…
I will try..... and try again
blogs will be mine
…oh yes…
someday they will be mine
2 comments:
WOW, what an amazing, eloquent woman you have become...a series of non-sequitors of ur thoughts & life(guess thats what blogs are), but ur humor is fascinating...luv ya!
peace!!!!
Loved this! Thanks for the laughter caused by the two conflicting sides struggling to occupy space in your mind!
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